I am not a shopping enthusiast. Except around the Christmas and Channukah holidays, I hate the parking problems, I don't enjoy browsing aisle after aisle looking for something that would be honestly appreciated by Grandma or Uncle Arthur. I certainly do not like waiting in line with frustrated people waiting for the lone employee to handle a complicated exchange. During the holidays, I enjoy meandering through stores just people watching, without being weighted down with packages. The experience for whatever reason puts me into a holiday emotional state, but I do my actual shopping and buying almost entirely on the Internet. That's a practice I developed in the very early years of the Web.

Online shopping didn't save my life all by itself. Just because I started using the Web before any of my friends, I still had to make the decisions. And then, around five years ago, or so, I discovered food.

Of course, I actually discovered food when I was still an infant, but it didn't occur to me as a great gift until I had suffered through many rounds of birthdays, baby showers, and countless other events that seem to always pop up. I received a gift basket of little sausages, spreadable cheeses and plain crackers. It was terrible! At the same time, though, I thought what a great gift this could have been. All they had to change in the gift was the quality of the contents!

Since then, I have been busy conducting research (that's just my word for "sampling"). I have found online vendors who offer genuine quality for about the same price that you can get that synthetic stuff at the mall. (You know the one I mean, but I'm not about to open myself to a libel or slander charge by naming the brand.) Just like the mall kiosks, the online shops handle all the shipping, gift cards, everything. I know that my gifts will be exceptionally pleasant surprises for all of my gift recipients.

The wide selection of quality gift foods available is truly remarkable. It ranges from live lobster dinners to a fruit basket; from cookie bouquets to live lobsters; from wine gift baskets to imported caviar or fine Wisconsin cheeses.

For those on my gift list who live nearby, I usually assemble my own gift baskets. Even in those cases, the Internet comes to my rescue with helpful suggestions about how to make my self-assembled gift foods more interesting. The available articles also have great gift ideas for special people who often happen to be especially difficult when it comes to choosing a gift.

If you happen to see me strolling a store aisle with a smile on my face when everybody else seems frantic, you will now know my secret. But don't tell my Uncle Arthur.